The article "Teaching Respect And Values In Today's Society" talks about family, it was written by Frank McGinty.
The girl's jaw dropped in horror as the poilce officer spoke
these words:
"Don't go there. Have you any idea how many kids have been
stabbed in the past year? They'll kill you as soon as look at
you.
They have no respect for life."
The mtoher breathed a sigh of relief. She had come in to school
to seek my help, as I was her daughter's Guiadnce Counsellor. We
needed to convince the girl that the places she was frequenting
were putting her very life in danger.
Fortunately a police officer was in school that day to speak to
a Social Education class - and I got him to sit in on the
interview.
So where was the young girl going that put her life in such
peril? What underground hautns were enticing her?
None other than an area of the city where two school friends
lived. But as you may guess, it was an area rife with drug abuse
and its attendant crimes.
Many persons there had lost respect
both for themselves and for life in general.
So how do we teach respect and values in a society that's
rapidly becoming valueless?
Believe it or not, it's relatively not hard!
All we have to do is go back to basics. Remember what Grandma
used to say?
- "Do unto others as you would have them do unto
you".
This might sound a bit 'corny' or 'naff' in today's world, but
if ever a saying deserved to be revitalised and repeated again
and again, this is it!
Today our kids need to learn RESPECT for themselves; for other
people; for other people's rights, customs and valid beliefs;
for property; for materials; and for the earth itself.
The more persons who do this, the more we will have a
counter-balance to the uncaring and disrespectful trends we see
all around.
Yes, that's all very well, but HOW do we do it?
In two ways - and as I said, it's not hard!
First and foremost MODEL the values and respect you wish your
children to develop.
That's it. SHOW them by your own lifestyle. You don't even need
to articualte these values - but as we'll see later, discussing
them and commenting on them can make an even bigger impact.
Many successful parents are neither educated nor articulate, and
they say very little.
They let their actions speak louder than
words.
There's nothing new in this.
To use an old-fashioned phrase,
these paretns give a good example. (Some of today's
psychologists guess they've come up with a new approach when
they talk about 'modelling appropriate behvaiour patterns'. Yes
. .
! )
To be fair, many parents I talk to are unaware of the potential
they have to influence their kids. It coems as a surprise to
many to learn that THEY are the most influential teachers their
kids will ever have.
Our children are like sponges. They soak up our attitudes, our
habits, our speech patterns - our way of seeing the world.
So if YOU show respect for yourself, for others, for property
and for the earth, you won't go wrong.
But you can enhance or reinforce this proecss by instructing
your kids.
Without lecturing or 'sermonising' we can give guidelines for
everyday activities.
For example:
* leave the bathroom as you'd like to find it
* use resources like water carefully
* consider others by playing music softly or by using headphones
* give a helping hand in the classroom, in the playground, at
home
* treat others with kindness, gentleness, care and sympathy
* look after yourself in the same way.
When bad or undesirable behaviour is modelled on TV or
elsewhere, comment on it and discuss why we wouldn't do that.
In a multi-cultural and multi-ethnic society, let's help our
kids to tolerate, appreciate and even celebrate differences.
Help them realise we all have different cusotms and habits, and
there are pros as well as cons in these differences.
Help your child to be assertive. There's no need to be
aggressive or offesnive when defending our values.
We should
assert them proudly and courageously, and we should avoid a
passive denial when others are mocking.
Lastly, there's self-control. If you give a good example -
sorry, if you 'model appropriate behaviour'! - AND teach your
kids why it is important, then you and your family can face the
future with confidence.
Happy parenting!
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